Let Go
by Simply Snazzical
Summary: One shot. Hurt, deception, guilt. And finally, finally learning to let go. JoshxAlicia, JoshxKristen, hints of PlovertxAlicia.


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La Kristyn is back in action.

**New version of When the Past Comes Back to Bite You on the way.**

**Last chapter of No Place Like Home in the works.**

**New one shots and full-length story being formed.**

**So review. You know you want to.**

**xo to the xo,  
kristyn.**

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_Hurt._

You see the hidden smiles, the faint blush that seems to glow on her pale cheeks, the way his chocolate eyes sparkle when they land on her.

You know.

He tells you he loves you, but the words drip hesitantly out of his mouth. They are no longer meant for you.

Everyone tells you you're the most beautiful girl in Westchester, but even that can't get you the one thing you want –the one thing that matters. He is your everything. You can't imagine how you would get by without him.

Yet she just seems to captivate him. Maybe it's the way she tilts her head to the side when she talks, or her cute blonde waves, or maybe it's just that she's everything you're not. Every time you see either of them, your pampered heart shatters into a million pieces. You catch the dreamy smell of her perfume waft off of him, his Polo on her jacket.

You love him. You can't let him go. Everything you have been through together that means so much to you must be meaningless to him, but you can't erase or even dim the memories. So you gloss your lips, flip your hair, fake a smile, and pray that he will remember how much you love him.

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_Deception._

You love her, really you do. Just not how you used to anymore.

She's closer to you than almost anyone, but like a sister; a best friend. That's why you can't stand hurting her. You can't bear even the thought of her stunning brown eyes, so much like yours, filling with heartbroken tears. She means so much to you.

But then you met, _really_ met _her_. Stolen kisses under the bleachers, secret meetings by the locker rooms, sweet nothings whispered behind everyone's backs; all spun in a fragile web of hurt, deception and guilt.

You know she knows, but you keep pretending, like life is one big stage, and the curtain only closes when you are with your girl. Your behind-the-scenes girl. The girl who had you smitten with one passionate kiss on a deserted soccer field. The girl who can read you as easily as her AP European History textbook.

Just as effortlessly, you can read the heartbreak written on your on-stage girlfriend's face. You can't let her go. Through the best and worse of times, she has stuck by your side, and you hers, and that's not something you can forget.

You can't hurt her. You just can't. That's why you keep spinning her along in your web of deception, not realizing how much you are crushing her in the process.

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_Guilt. _

She's your best friend. He's her boyfriend. And she loves him. That's how it's meant to be.

But then why is he so irresistible? The way he always tries to catch your eye to steal a quick smile before you get snapped back into reality positively melts your heart.

What started as a kiss on a bitterly cold soccer field, the day before Thanksgiving break, turned into _this. _

Secrets. Lies. And a whopping amount of guilt as a side effect. She's been your best friend since third grade, and hurting her is killing you, but whenever you're with him, he patches up the holes. You can't bring yourself to tell her, but you have a gut instinct that she already has an idea about what's going on.

You can't let him go, not even to spare her. He's too important to you. The sugar in your Kool Aid. The fries to your milkshake. The alligator sewed onto your J. Crew polo. Nothing matters if he's not a part of it.

You don't know where this is going. Normally you like to think ahead; to know exactly what is going to happen, but for now, you love the intensity and thrill of the unknown.

She loves him, he loves her, you love him, he loves you, you love her, she loves you. Not even you can make sense of that problem.

You can't damage your relationship with either of them, so all you can do is pray for an answer key to solve the most dizzying problem you have ever met.

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_Truth._

Perched on the stone window of the World History classroom, you have a bird's eye view of the front lawn of the school. The biting November wind whips through your glossy hair and immaculately put together outfit, but you couldn't care less.

Because you are finally seeing what you have tried so hard and so long to miss.

She weaves her way in and out of the thick canopy of trees, almost bare of leaves, obviously looking for him.

He breaks away from his soccer buddies, sneaking up behind her.

He grabs her up in a hug, swinging her annoyingly-cute-blondness around and around. Even from here, two stories up, you can hear her giggle and see her smile.

Finally setting her down, he takes her hand and pulls her behind your favorite tree, and then, for a split second that felt like an eternity, your eyes meet.

His eyes fill with shame, yours with tears.

You feel like your world, your heart, and your life is splintering apart, but a pair of strong arms wrap around you and pull you gently back into reality.

You find yourself gazing up at a pair of caring, concerned blue eyes. Caring for _you_. Only you.

You try to speak, but no words come. There is nothing to say. He understands.

He pulls you into a tight hug, holding your broken heart together, and maybe, just maybe, stitching the pieces back together.

Discreetly, you slip off your bracelet, the one _he _gave you for your one-year anniversary, and listen to it hit the floor with a delicate _ping._

Finally, finally, you have learned how to let go.

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**Well, there you have it. It may seem a little confusing because I didn't use names, but I liked it better that way. **

**Review, me loves!**


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